Dear Dr Chapman,

I am Nicole Finn and a very lost and heartbroken woman. I have read your book, 5 Love Languages over and over again but somehow I can’t seem to please my man enough. We are on the verge of registering our marriage in two months’ time and so far, I have managed to make him angry for some reason.

I’m afraid that we don’t seem to communicate much. I think I have tried my best so in order for you to understand and perhaps from a third party point of view, you will be able to guide me towards the path that I should be going. I hope I have not been too presumptuous. Forgive me if I have.

I tried the first language of love: Affirmations. I gave lots of positive ones such as “You are doing great!”, “You can do it!”, “I’m sure you can!” and “I believe in you.” Somehow he doesn’t respond much to those, so I thought maybe his primary language isn’t that. Hence, the next love language.

Spending quality time with him was good, at least I thought so on my part. We would spend every weekend together, sometimes just watching movies and other times doing things (I don’t have to spell that out, do I?). He is still the same, the way I see it anyway. Thus, I tried another love language.

I gave him pats and hugs a lot. I think he likes that but things are still average. No big changes, not that I would expect but hey, a girl can only hope, right? In the end, it doesn’t seem to have much results either.

I hoped that by doing some acts of services would have helped. So, maybe he likes that, therefore, whenever he asked for something, I did my best to fulfill them although I secretly wished that he would ask nicely. I mean, you are asking for someone else to do something for you, if you can ask a stranger nicely, why not ask nicely to me too? Guess what, wait, no guessing here, it still didn’t have the result that I wanted.

In end, I resorted to gifts. Gifts that I spent time agonising over because he had this standards about things he wants and likes. I spent a fortune on almost anything, from belts to clothes and wallets. No go here.

For each of the love languages I did, I spent a month in order to make sure that it truly worked. All failed. What am I doing wrong here, Dr Chapman? Why can’t he appreciate it? I don’t feel appreciated at the efforts, does he not see or he wants to loved in another way or what?

I feel very much neglected here as he checks his iPhone every single time we are together. I feel non-existent next to him. Only recently, I discovered something that I would never expect. I don’t want to continue reading those accusations but I do wonder if I am really that lousy, why did he even suggest a marriage?

If you are wondering what the accusations are, let’s just say that he didn’t particularly mention me but Facebook is so widely used and sometimes abused, I thought he knew better but he listens to one particular advice by his friend. It is called venting and boy, vent he did. Not only that, he had removed the relationship status to nothing. Apparently, if he does love me, why would he do that? Is he regretting?

Dr Chapman, I don’t know what to do anymore. Right now, all I have is the impression is that he is asking for more. He has so high standards that I can’t fill them in. I have this feeling that I have to be a man (the kind who brings home the money) and a woman (the kind who does the housework, give birth and even well, the bedroom part) all at the same time. I am starting to doubt the credibility of my gender that my parents have given me.

I thought he was the one, perhaps he still is but with the pressure from my parents grumbling that he has not done the man part, such as asking for blessings to marry me, I very much doubt that I can carry on this relationship or the lack of it. I feel that I have to be some superwoman right now, Dr Chapman.

Thank you very much for reading this. I really appreciate it.

Yours sincerely,

Nicole Finn

In the end, I never sent out the letter. It was just too difficult for me to send one letter out since I already knew my answer and the actions that would lead to it.

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I struggled to breathe. Deep breath in. Out. In. Out. Forming a rhythm of breathing. For a while I focused on just breathing. Clearing my thoughts. I was single again. An elephant was stepping on my chest yet again.

I had been with him for 3 years. To think that I gave him my precious gift and waited with abated breaths that one day, I would receive a romantic proposal. Not. All I received on this April Fools Day was a breakup. The irony of it. I had laughed it off initially but he was not joking.

In fact, some other woman came up behind him and practically sucked his face off. I wanted to strangle her pretty little neck but kept my hands to myself. I kept my face neutral, I hoped it was neutral anyway and stood up. Unfortunately, my hands had a mind of their own and the adultrous pair found themselves drenched with wine. Very expensive wine I must add. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought he must have thought that by breaking up with me in the very expensive restaurant with the wine that was now on them, I would have been calm. I was. Until the vixen sucked his face.

She had screeched like a banshee and raved like some mad woman whose baby had been stolen. The restaurant manager was sympathetic towards me though. He simply guided me out and patted me on the back whispering that I would find a better man before going back in to settle the bitch, his words, not mine. He made me feel slightly better and I had went off.

The boa constrictor was now taking its turn at my chest. I focused and chanted to myself. Useless. He left me for some woman who just had bigger assets than me. I consoled myself. At least he didn’t leave me for another man, that would definitely wound my pride even more. I would have felt less of a woman.

Unfortunately yet again, he had never made me feel like a woman either. I was either taking showers that wasted water or wanted those pretty jewellery in those fashion shops too much. Or I wasn’t thinking for the future, was I even saving money and why I had so many shoes that I didn’t wear when I was with him. Oh god, I was so blind!

The signs had been there and I was so busy hanging onto his words that I craved I totally lost myself. I slapped myself mentally. The boa constrictor was now gone. I could breathe much easily now.

Logging on to my Facebook account, I lost my breath yet again. His status was demeaning. How dare he!

Man, she couldn’t even last in bed.

The comments were worse.

You mean she was dry all the time?

His reply was the one that took the cake.

Yea man, it was like I was dry humping.

I gritted my teeth, the nerve of him. I didn’t know why but I kept reading.

She never cared when I was having flu. Not once did she visit me.

What?! He was the one who was angry that I fussed over him! Bastard! How dare he! Still my eyes skimmed through and it literally made my heart break.

I still remember the time I had a small accident with scraped knees and she didn’t bother to call or visit. Not once.

Steam was now pouring out of my head. The jerk was asking for it. First, he broke up with me. Second, that vixen was all over him like they were having sex publicly. Finally, a very public humiliation of me over Facebook. It was a blessing though. He had never been savvy for technical stuff and didn’t know how to use the privacy settings.

Smiling to myself, I formulated my revenge. I searched for his current conquest and it was too easy. Her photo was plastered all over her profile. I created a male profile and keyed in all fantastic details about a certain Eurasian with dirty blond hair and 8 packs.I had to use PhotoShop to make sure he fitted what I had in mine by combining one with real 8 packs and edited the face of a younger Brad Pitt.

It took me a few hours to complete and I wanted to test if it worked as her body language had screamed out “I like only rich men”. The jerk of my ex was rich but he was no Mr Manhunt. Once I was sure that it was good to go, I used the fake rich and handsome man to send a friend request. She added “him” within seconds. Heavens! She was online all the time?

I dived into my task immediately. I added everyone she knew for what I was about to do. The ex was rather quick to add my fake man. Grinning to myself, I form my words on the vixen’s wall, ah ha! She was lax in her privacy settings too.

Oh honey, I’m so glad you remember me. I miss your fragrance. You were so screaming my name in bed. Why didn’t you answer my calls?

The comments cracked me up. Her reply was instant.

What?! This is crazy!

Then, the ex replied. I could only imagine his red face puffing.

You had sex with him? Last night?! How could you?!

Time to spice things up. I added my perfect man’s reply.

Didn’t you tell him you love me? I thought you wanted me as I’m so handsome that you loved to give my ‘best friend’ the time of its life.

I had to gag at that, I hated going down there, the hair in my teeth gave me the creeps. Replies were fast now.

F*** I never said that! I may like to do that to you but I definitely won’t say that!

Oh my, she was really a who**! I was gaping at my computer screen. She was flirting so openly online with the fake Derek O’Brien. Good lord. Now I saw his reply.

You said I was the only one! I thought I was good enough! Tina, I am good enough, right?

Things were interesting now. ‘Derek’ just had to step back. Tina replied.

Ken, you suck in bed. You couldn’t even get it up without the blue pill.

That was low. I knew about the pill but I would never deflate any man’s ego like that. Man, she was ruthless.

You don’t mean that. How could you!!!!!

Wow, so many exclamation marks. He was pissed. By now, other comments were popping up.

Ken, you lied about your ex. You need a damn pill! That means she is good but you, man, you really suck. I should have dated her!

That was unexpected. Ian wanted me? Woah. Trying to recall Ian’s face, I failed to find his face among my cluttered memories. None. Oh well, let me look through his profile. Woah again. That man was my first crush. He was using another name at that time. I actually had liked him a lot.

Should I add him with my real account? I bit my lip. What harm could there be? We could always start as friends. I didn’t need another Ken drama. Ian was as good as any man for a start. I just hope that he really know how to be a gentleman. Sex on the second date was really something else. Ken broke that rule.

I sent a friend request to Ian with my real account. My previous promise was broken by myself. I couldn’t keep my hands off him on the first date. It was mind blowing too.

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Male, black scales with hints of silver, temperamental but with a good heart. Good in fights with excellent striker skills. Lives in caves.

Knucker

Male, blue scales with hints of green, anger issues. Helps only to his benefits. Uses venom or constriction depending on his mood. Lives in water.

Apep

Male, grey scales with hints of black, scarred in his right face due to a fight with Nidhug but refuses to be embarrassed by it. Use underhand methods to defeat his opponents. Lives on lands to terrify humans or other species whenever it suits him to bring him cattle for food.

Bindy

Female, coral scales with hints of yellow, beautiful among the dragons. Breathes fire when in a fight. The object of Apep’s desire but she is interested in another.

Oceanna

Female, dark blue scales with hints of emerald, sleek swimmer. Manipulates water to her advantage.

Locia

Female, red scales with hints of orange, a queen among the dragons. Has powers that controls the minds of any being. Dislikes to use mind control as the victim’s mind is often scarred and left unintelligent. Able to speak in the minds of anyone.

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Dancing Lights

Range: 2 – 3 metres (10 feet)

Duration: 1 minute

Effect: 4 lights

Detect Magic

Range: 18 metres (60 feet)

Duration: 1 minute

 Heal

Weather

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Aengus – fairy with a dark past and with love.

Gandayah – fairies who look after the fertility of the earth

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